Over time, I get asked a lot of questions. In case you were wondering, here are some answers to the more common ones:
Will you read my (book, play, novel, short story) and review it?
Short answer: No. Longer answer: It is very unlikely, because I am:
- Busy with my own writing, revising, and running my publishing company,
- Busy fulfilling my own previously-arranged beta-reading agreements that I established long before you read this FAQ,
- Busy with my day job, my family, and my life outside of writing (such as it is),
- Reading for pleasure, which is something I rarely get to do, and as such, I will pick the things I want to read.
That being said, I do post reviews of anything I read, so if yours makes it into my stack somehow, you will get an honest review from me.
Can we trade reviews?
No. See above.
Will you read my unpublished work and critique it?
No. See above. Additionally, I don’t want you getting ideas about suing me sometime in the future if I write something that superficially resembles something you shared with me. Am I going to steal your ideas? No. I have plenty of my own and don’t need yours. Can I steal your ideas? Well, since an idea cannot be materially possessed, yes, I can take your idea and write something based upon it. To protect our mutual integrity, I will not read your unpublished work.
Will you send me a copy of your book so I can review it?
I will gladly send out ebook copies for review purposes. Unfortunately, I am unlikely to send you a print copy. If you are able to email me to request one, you are able to read an ebook, which costs neither of us anything.
I found a (typo, factual inaccuracy, plot hole, something I disagree with) in your book. Do I get anything?
Probably not. I’m sorry your experience wasn’t all it could have been. Errors do slip through multiple edits, as do obscure factual inaccuracies (although I do due diligence when researching while writing, I have been known to take dramatic license or to fake it for the sake of simplicity). Likewise, I make an effort to identify and address plot holes well before a book is ever published. If you found one, it means none of the other readers and editors before you have. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but it’s unlikely as severe as you think contacting me warrants. If you disagree with me, that’s fine too. Everyone is welcome to their opinion. You don’t like what I wrote, don’t read anymore of my stuff, or write stuff you want to read. People who agree with you might buy it.
Do you ever do (clinics/workshops/Skype calls/conventions/classroom visits)?
Yes, gladly. Contact me using the form in the top menu and let’s talk.
Who does your artwork? Can I send you some of mine?
I utilize a variety of artists, all of whom I contract with for their services and give credit to in the indicia of my books. If you’re an artist and want your work considered for future projects, visit this page.
Who does your editing? Can I be your editor?
I also use a variety of editors and beta-readers, none of whom have cold-called me. It’s unlikely I will consider you, but thanks for your interest and good luck with your business.
Can I hire you to (proofread/edit/format/design my cover)?
Short answer: No. Longer answer: I would consider it for enough money. Enough money in this case means enough money to make it worthwhile for me to set aside all my other paying projects and day job to focus exclusively on your problem. I can’t give you a figure, but when I do, you’re probably not going to like it. That being said, if you pay it, I will treat your project as I would my own.
Will you give me advice on (whatever topic)?
Short answer: No. Longer answer: Maybe if it’s something I can dash off in a few sentences. I am very busy.
Can I buy a signed book direct from you?
Yes. Contact me using the form in the top menu with what you’d like to obtain and I will quote you the cost to purchase and ship it to you.
You don’t have a Patreon or Kickstarter but I’d like to give you money anyway. Can I do that?
Um, sure. Weirdo.
I’m a (literary agent/film agent/screenwriter/film producer/translator/audiobook producer/corporate shill) and I’d like to obtain the rights to (do something) with your work for money. Will you listen to my pitch?
Can I hang out with you for a couple of hours and drink coffee?
Yes, assuming I’m available, you’re local to me, or have arranged to have me transported to wherever you are. Note: I’m thalassophobic, so if you’re wanting me to cross an ocean to get to you, that’s unlikely.
I have a question you didn’t answer.
Contact me using the form in the top menu. If it’s a good one, I may include it in this list.